Joy is a priceless virtue that is inherently therapeutic when engaged in our day-to-day living. One major problem in some homes is the women’s inability to know the source of their true joy. Most women want their happiness to come from their husbands, not knowing that their authentic source of joy should be God.
An attempt to shift it to your husband may cost you the loss of inner peace and outward serenity. I remember years ago when I called my husband aside and began to tell him how much I love him. Before that meeting with him, I had dreamt of making any man I married my source of joy. When I finished talking, he immediately cautioned me by saying that he couldn’t be my source of joy. He counseled me that only God can make someone happy and have everlasting joy.
Hearing that from my husband that day shocked me; I thought of one thousand and one things in my head. I thought could he be that he will not be a reliable husband or what? Because it was just a few days into our marriage when he dropped that bombshell! People of God, from that moment, I started shifting my attention towards God, whom I have been told can give me true happiness. Does that make me not love him anymore? No! He just helped me through what could likely give me a heart attack in the future.
When a woman believes and puts all her hope in a man, she calls for trouble. I am not saying it is not good to trust your husband, but it is better to trust and believe more in the God who owns his heart. Who has the power to guide him in his decision-making and his daily affairs, including his dealings with you?
Since that day, I have had a renewed perspective on relating with my husband; his mistakes no longer matter to me. I no longer see him as someone who could give me complete joy in life again. It suddenly occurred to me that an attempt to make him my authentic source of happiness can lead to sin, which could endanger his life before God. Going by the scriptures, no one should take the place of God in the life of an individual.
He, too, has been using this method to relate with me; he doesn’t see any of my wrongdoing as a big deal; he would instead forgive me and move closer to God, who can give him greater joy. However, this shouldn’t degenerate into me causing him heartache all the time or him being a thorn in the flesh for me. No! That’s to teach us that no matter how loving our spouses are or we are to our spouses, there will always be occasional flops in the way we relate with one another.
This has helped our marriage a great deal. We have resolved to take our shortcomings to God, who can give us total joy and peace of mind.
Many women find it difficult to allow God to be their source of true happiness; they often find it difficult to forgive their husbands when he wrongs them because they have outrageous beliefs that must make them happy all the time. When you find yourself in this situation as a woman, it is better to engage in prayers that God will intervene and help him to foster a closer relationship with you and the children, rather than expecting 100% perfection from him.
Not making your husband your source of joy does not mean that he shouldn’t perform his duty as a husband and father. It is just to let you know that we are all human; we make mistakes, so don’t expect your husband to be a perfect man. Likewise, he must not expect you to be a woman without flaws.
Receive grace to put your real hope in God and wisdom to handle the affairs of your home in the way of the Lord in Jesus’ name. Amen.
